问~ 该去问谁???

on Tuesday, December 28, 2010
近来都睡不着睡不好,来首悲伤情歌吧~


damn hate myself!
i cannot control myself!
I hate love!
especially bgr!
single nt good meh?
single can do many things!
I hate guys! 
I hate those guys that do not appreciate and honest to their partner!
Hate! Hate! Hate!
My prefrontal cortex not mature enough to control my amygdala! sigh~ 

Review 2010

on Tuesday, December 21, 2010
First, I choose to write it in English. Hope don't mind and forgive if got a lot of grammar mistakes =)

2010, is the second year of my university live. There is still have one more year for me to going on for my study live. Hope I can graduate successfully lo =)

Now is almost the end of year 2010. It's also means that my year 2 psychology live is end. There will be a long time that we need to separate and we will gonna miss each other and the moment that we have spent together, my dear friends and dear course mates. It is because the new semester of our year 3 live is the industrial training. There will be almost 4 months we won't meet each other. But for those training at the same place no need worry about this, hehe~ Hope we can do our best and enjoy the training live! =)

Review back of 2010, there are a lot of things happened, either sad or happy. There also have some changes on myself, but I am not sure whether change to better or even worse, or may be both, hehe~

First, the most change is finally I make a right decision to not contact you anymore. Finally I choose to put it down, let go and forgive you. Even I am not fully recover yet, but at least I have become more happier, less emotional problem than previous time. Hope you can take good care for yourselves always.

Second, there are lost and gain. I lost some friends and gain some insight of my live. Some incidents has make me see the reality of live. I admit that I am angry on the way you choose to treat me like that, yet I am also understand why you do so. I also choose to not talk to you. But one thing that I most angry is don't pretend nothing happened in front of me and try to nice to me in front of other people. It make you suffer but I have the same feeling too! For the another, I don't know what you thinking about. If you want to be the second one I won't do anything. ( I don't know why I become like this. It seems like a bad thing for me.)

Third, I am glad that I have you all to be my friends and always at my side when I need help. Thanks a lot and love you guys! =) You all give me a lot of support that make me still can stand here. There are lot of beautiful memory that will always stay in our mind forever! Hope will friendship forever! (feel nauseate when I am typing, hehe~)

Erm... other than that I think I will gonna miss someones and something. I will always send the best wishes to you all and good luck. Recall back of my year 2 psychology study live, I am still  a "blur blur queen" but starting have the sense to my future live. It does have some improvement but not much and not enough. My academic performance not so good but have improvement in participate co-curricular activities. That was nice and is a good experience.

There are too many thing come in my mind and it gone fast also. I hope can write all out but it gone too fast. Is it mean that I am old already??? haha~ I know year 3 is the year that will gonna be the most tougher period for my university live. Why? Because I am still not conscious enough! haiz~ I never feel so stress for my study live until I further study in degree. I don't have good time management, I still is a lazy pig, no healthy lifestyle like do not take food in time, bad sleeping habit! Every time say want change but at the end still the same! hahaha XD 

I have many wishes for new year:
I want my face change to better! (pimples ah!!!)
I wish I can handle year 3 live and graduate! ( don't so lazy!)
Appreciate and gratitude
I want become more happy and healthy
I wish people around me always happy too
Try to be more concern on others
Forget and forgive 
Accept and change
Trust, courage and confident ( those I don't have or little only)
Find the one I love and love me too~
Money~ money~ money~ hehe

Wish all the best and good luck to all~ happy always =) love ya~ ^^
亲爱的家人与朋友们,一起加油吧!



A special day with complicated feeling~

on Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Tonight is a special and memorable night for me, because I saw METEOR RAIN!!!
I feel so excited and happy. It is the first time I see meteor rain and the sky is full with star, its very beautiful! 
The weather also nice (the cold wind~). Love it very much ah! Even i scare cold, hehe =)


Emm~ as I mention, on the second I feel very happy but on the other second I feel down.
I don't why, I don't know the reason why I cannot fall asleep as I already feel very tired.
Keep asking myself, but I can't find the answer.
No hard feeling on past, no sad feeling on yesterday exam, no people hurt me...
Then? What is the reason? Am I too stress???


I know there must be something inside my mind that cause me sleepless.
It may appear on the next post~ haha
hope I can solve it as soon as possible~ Good Luck 


However, today really a nice day! =)


The real one more nice, haha 

Although not the one I see, but glad to have the chance to see~

All Is My FAULT! OK???

on Sunday, December 5, 2010
Please let me go, I'm already forgive you and all other people that hurt me.
(the forgiveness is learned from my last adolescent psychology class.)

I'm always trying my best to accept myself.
At the beginning I really cannot accept myself, forgive myself for what I've done.
From time to time, I keep stand up and relapse back.
The reason why I still standing here is I don't want make anyone who care me and love me feel disappointed on me. I want to live better, love myself more. That just what I want only. Just a simple life, as simple as possible.

But now, why you all come to mess my live again? 
It is hard for me to build up this simple live.
I don't care whether you all forgive me or not, I already said apologized.
Not I don't care about the friendship, and the choice is on you all.
I will accept and respect to what the choice that you all want to choose.
If you all cannot forgive me I will let it go. 
But please, please don't disturb my family, they doesn't know anything about my passed.

Anyone in the world will do wrong, there are no perfect person in the world.
Yes, it is my fault in hiding all those stuff, but I'm not intentionally want to do so.
One thing what I can do now is just live better and love myself more.
Why want think in the extreme way?
There are many way, different perspective to view on the problem.
If the way won't hurt other people, make them feel less worry, why we don't choose that way?

DON'T COME IN AND MESS MY LIVE AGAIN!
I JUST WANT LIVE HAPPY AND DO WHAT I WANT TO DO!
THANKS FOR THE COOPERATION~

Surprise or Shock?

on Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Today I heard a news from my friend, it shock me but not so.

It was about you again, haiz~

At the moment, I feel want to cry but I didn't.
I know it is not worth for me to put any hope, any feeling on you again.
Luckily the last time we chat was the time I totally felt disappointed on you! If not today I will feel very depress, sad and will be collapse again!
I admitted that I was a stupid and it was my fault for choosing you to be the one.
But I am not regret of the decision.
At least, I have the courage to walk out my first step and I'm being responsible to my decision. 
What I want to do for you, what I want to tell you I've already done it.
The response that you gave me already give me the answer.

It's such a long time for me to reduce the hard feeling.

After that time I feel more relief already.
I want to say thank you to all my friends that accompany and help me in this period of time.
Without you all, I don't know whether I still alive, still can recover this fast or not.
Sorry to those that I've been make you feel disappointed on me.
You still at the same way, you still no change.
That not my responsible to advice you already and I also don't want have any contact with you anymore.
Please, do regret or responsible on what you did! Don't repeat the same mistake again!
I cannot forgive you yet I will wish for you. That's all~


All the best for myself, wish HAPPY ALWAYS =)







心声1

on Thursday, November 25, 2010
Jay Chou's song-- although it's a sad song but he sang out my inner feeling.
Nice and like it! ^^

大姐的生日与家

真的不好意思,迟了写这篇文章。 

大姐的生日其实是在1123日。而我们也在星期日提早帮她庆祝。最搞笑的是用她的钱请回她自己吃东西,哈哈~ 那天买了domino's pizza 和一个蛋糕送给她。蛋糕是咖啡口味的,幸好没买错口味。祝你生日快乐哦,就快“三张”了哦,哈哈~ 本来要送你的DIY CAKE,到现在都还没缝,嘻嘻~要等得空时咯~
MY SIS'S BIRTHDAY CAKE => COFFEE BRULEE
HAHA~ KNOW HER AGE ALREADY~
我大姐可厉害咯,她脾气不好,我跟她也是彼此彼此,嘻嘻~ 人家说的嘛,肖鸡跟肖兔的就不合。所以很多时候都爱跟她吵嘴。但好在吵过后也就没事了。有时还吵到很开心呢~可是她真的凶起来真的很吓人呢!那个时候就别惹她了。但我才不管呢,不跟她说话就可以了,哈哈~
大姐虽然嫁了,但她还有供养我们家。这也许就是和没有男丁的家不同之处吧,就算嫁了还要帮补娘家,但还好婆家没介意。而她最大的投资就是在我身上了,她供我读书,付我保险费,要买东西时搭单就可以,有时还给钱我用。

但这个负担渐渐地落在我三姐的身上。家里大部分的费用都是她负责了。也不能怪 大姐和二姐,因为她们有自己的家和孩子要养要供。还好生活都过得去,起码比以前好多了。过几天呢就是三姐的生日咯,都不知道有没有庆祝呢~

总而言之,整个家都是在工作的姐妹们撑着,妈妈辛苦的打理整个家,爸爸虽然坏脾气,但我也知道你很疼我们,只是你不善于表达。应该是遗传吧,这怪怪的家庭成员都不大爱表达自己但却沟通良好,哈哈~

我的家并不富裕但却热闹,也比许多人幸福。人嘛就应该知足但也要向前进!我希望我会顺利毕业,不辜负你们。业祝福读书的妹妹加油,工作的姐妹们事业顺利,赚多多,哈哈~最后再祝全家人身体健康,快快乐乐,和和气气,平平安安~ ^^





无聊

on Sunday, November 21, 2010
对我来说这个学期可以说是满轻松的,
科目不算容易,但日子算过得轻松,
因为只有两科罢了,哈~
可是感觉过得不是很充实。
也许是自己的原因吧,
觉得每想做一件事情时都没那种热情,
整个人都是懒洋洋的。
就像这几天的假期,
每当一有空档的时间就只有吃喝睡看,发呆。
一睡就可以睡很多次而不是睡很久~
一吃就吃很多,不吃就吃很少~
一看戏就更厉害,看到走火入魔~
情绪乱乱的。
啊!!!为什么会这样啊!!!
是心累了吗?还是它还在恢复着,休息着?
还是无聊的人就是过无聊的日子呢?哈哈~
可是这无聊的日子有时过得蛮惬意的~ ^^
不管如何,我知道让自己继续沉睡的日子要完了。
前面要走的路还很长,也越来越艰难,
我要勇敢地走下去,
即使是再大的困难,再次的受伤害!
我要控制自己,控制自己的情绪!
不可以再让他牵着我走!
加油!加油!傻婆月春加油!
我会努力克服一切!
“忍一时风平浪静,退一步海阔天空”。


(ps: 无聊也是一种享受,如果可以我情愿无聊好比当傻瓜~)

Excited

on Friday, November 19, 2010
This is the first time I have my own blog.
This is also the first time I'm writing blog.
I feel very excited and nervous, don't know what to write here.
First will say thanks to my friends that encourage me and teach me to write the blog. It is because I'm really noob in using the program or software in the computer =P
Another thing I want to say is I am not good in disclose myself.
So I hope by writing blog can help me to share more about myself and improve what I want to improve.
Emm~ don't know want to say what already.
Hope you all support me and you are welcome to comment here!
Thanks and have a nice day to all and myself. ^^