问~ 该去问谁???

on Tuesday, December 28, 2010
近来都睡不着睡不好,来首悲伤情歌吧~


damn hate myself!
i cannot control myself!
I hate love!
especially bgr!
single nt good meh?
single can do many things!
I hate guys! 
I hate those guys that do not appreciate and honest to their partner!
Hate! Hate! Hate!
My prefrontal cortex not mature enough to control my amygdala! sigh~ 

Review 2010

on Tuesday, December 21, 2010
First, I choose to write it in English. Hope don't mind and forgive if got a lot of grammar mistakes =)

2010, is the second year of my university live. There is still have one more year for me to going on for my study live. Hope I can graduate successfully lo =)

Now is almost the end of year 2010. It's also means that my year 2 psychology live is end. There will be a long time that we need to separate and we will gonna miss each other and the moment that we have spent together, my dear friends and dear course mates. It is because the new semester of our year 3 live is the industrial training. There will be almost 4 months we won't meet each other. But for those training at the same place no need worry about this, hehe~ Hope we can do our best and enjoy the training live! =)

Review back of 2010, there are a lot of things happened, either sad or happy. There also have some changes on myself, but I am not sure whether change to better or even worse, or may be both, hehe~

First, the most change is finally I make a right decision to not contact you anymore. Finally I choose to put it down, let go and forgive you. Even I am not fully recover yet, but at least I have become more happier, less emotional problem than previous time. Hope you can take good care for yourselves always.

Second, there are lost and gain. I lost some friends and gain some insight of my live. Some incidents has make me see the reality of live. I admit that I am angry on the way you choose to treat me like that, yet I am also understand why you do so. I also choose to not talk to you. But one thing that I most angry is don't pretend nothing happened in front of me and try to nice to me in front of other people. It make you suffer but I have the same feeling too! For the another, I don't know what you thinking about. If you want to be the second one I won't do anything. ( I don't know why I become like this. It seems like a bad thing for me.)

Third, I am glad that I have you all to be my friends and always at my side when I need help. Thanks a lot and love you guys! =) You all give me a lot of support that make me still can stand here. There are lot of beautiful memory that will always stay in our mind forever! Hope will friendship forever! (feel nauseate when I am typing, hehe~)

Erm... other than that I think I will gonna miss someones and something. I will always send the best wishes to you all and good luck. Recall back of my year 2 psychology study live, I am still  a "blur blur queen" but starting have the sense to my future live. It does have some improvement but not much and not enough. My academic performance not so good but have improvement in participate co-curricular activities. That was nice and is a good experience.

There are too many thing come in my mind and it gone fast also. I hope can write all out but it gone too fast. Is it mean that I am old already??? haha~ I know year 3 is the year that will gonna be the most tougher period for my university live. Why? Because I am still not conscious enough! haiz~ I never feel so stress for my study live until I further study in degree. I don't have good time management, I still is a lazy pig, no healthy lifestyle like do not take food in time, bad sleeping habit! Every time say want change but at the end still the same! hahaha XD 

I have many wishes for new year:
I want my face change to better! (pimples ah!!!)
I wish I can handle year 3 live and graduate! ( don't so lazy!)
Appreciate and gratitude
I want become more happy and healthy
I wish people around me always happy too
Try to be more concern on others
Forget and forgive 
Accept and change
Trust, courage and confident ( those I don't have or little only)
Find the one I love and love me too~
Money~ money~ money~ hehe

Wish all the best and good luck to all~ happy always =) love ya~ ^^
亲爱的家人与朋友们,一起加油吧!



A special day with complicated feeling~

on Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Tonight is a special and memorable night for me, because I saw METEOR RAIN!!!
I feel so excited and happy. It is the first time I see meteor rain and the sky is full with star, its very beautiful! 
The weather also nice (the cold wind~). Love it very much ah! Even i scare cold, hehe =)


Emm~ as I mention, on the second I feel very happy but on the other second I feel down.
I don't why, I don't know the reason why I cannot fall asleep as I already feel very tired.
Keep asking myself, but I can't find the answer.
No hard feeling on past, no sad feeling on yesterday exam, no people hurt me...
Then? What is the reason? Am I too stress???


I know there must be something inside my mind that cause me sleepless.
It may appear on the next post~ haha
hope I can solve it as soon as possible~ Good Luck 


However, today really a nice day! =)


The real one more nice, haha 

Although not the one I see, but glad to have the chance to see~

All Is My FAULT! OK???

on Sunday, December 5, 2010
Please let me go, I'm already forgive you and all other people that hurt me.
(the forgiveness is learned from my last adolescent psychology class.)

I'm always trying my best to accept myself.
At the beginning I really cannot accept myself, forgive myself for what I've done.
From time to time, I keep stand up and relapse back.
The reason why I still standing here is I don't want make anyone who care me and love me feel disappointed on me. I want to live better, love myself more. That just what I want only. Just a simple life, as simple as possible.

But now, why you all come to mess my live again? 
It is hard for me to build up this simple live.
I don't care whether you all forgive me or not, I already said apologized.
Not I don't care about the friendship, and the choice is on you all.
I will accept and respect to what the choice that you all want to choose.
If you all cannot forgive me I will let it go. 
But please, please don't disturb my family, they doesn't know anything about my passed.

Anyone in the world will do wrong, there are no perfect person in the world.
Yes, it is my fault in hiding all those stuff, but I'm not intentionally want to do so.
One thing what I can do now is just live better and love myself more.
Why want think in the extreme way?
There are many way, different perspective to view on the problem.
If the way won't hurt other people, make them feel less worry, why we don't choose that way?

DON'T COME IN AND MESS MY LIVE AGAIN!
I JUST WANT LIVE HAPPY AND DO WHAT I WANT TO DO!
THANKS FOR THE COOPERATION~