on Sunday, March 27, 2011
惨了,不懂是不是换上轻微忧郁了。近来的心情一直下滑,开心后没多久就低落。不开心的状态多于开心。严重到失好像开始有想死的念头。但应该不会做傻事吧,只要把它发泄出来机会没事了。
也不懂自己为什么不开心。也许在意的人和事太多了吧,导致自己放不开,想不通。每一晚当夜深人静的时候,我的脑袋就会不停的打转,不管有多累。不久,那泪水就掉下来了。
我知道的,我不是那么脆弱的。可为什么就打不起劲,做什么事都不成。
很累,我的心很累,可以就这样放弃一切吗?那面具,那笑容很重,带不起也提不起。每一次告诉自己该怎样怎样,可是就没一次成功。
停了!该停了!我不要再被负面的情绪缠绕!自己的事该自己解决,我不要再打扰别人,而且这样我也不会长大!我也不好意思去打扰别人!
既然他们已选择不拿为何你还要在意???失去的不可能再重来,就算重来也生疏了!何必还要折磨你自己。你也有你的生活,为什么就不选择好好的活下去???真的很想把自己的头撞向墙!啊!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

要坚强!

on Thursday, March 24, 2011
情绪已经低落一段时间了,
看着朋友们一直都在进步,
自己却一直在埋怨,堕落!

不可以再这样下去了,
我不应该再让负面的情绪影响我。
每一次说的改变却察觉不到自己的改变,
反而越变越差!

求求你,
要努力,
尽力而为,
不要再让自己后悔人生!

计划计划,
坚强坚强,
勇敢活下去!
要相信自己!
加油啊!

乱,迷失

on Wednesday, March 23, 2011
人性难测,像中国的变脸。
现实的残酷不由得你不接受!
适者则活,败者则亡!

有苦难说,
无言以对,
句句相对。

有许多说不出的话不懂如何发泄,
有许多苦水不懂向哪儿吐,
无言,无言,真的是无言。

是我太懦弱了吗?
感觉被抛弃遗忘了。
是我落后了吗?
我赶不上你们了。

外表真的那么重要吗?
不变的宗旨真的会被淘汰?
做人的原则又是什么?
感觉上已经离你们越来越远。
我迷失了~ 我适应不到你们的世界,
适应不到这世界。

那决定真的是错了。我错了,是我的错,那都是我的错。
无言~ 该怎么重整我的世界???

Friends

on Monday, March 21, 2011
Friends, you made me feel very disappointed.
Friends, you made me sad.
Friends, you made me cried.

I know I am not a perfect person.
I know how stupid I am.
In this world no one is perfect too.

Sometimes, I care about you all.
I try my best to treat you all.
I just follow what you ask me to do or help.
If I can, I will help you.
I will be nice as possible as I can.
And I know you all treat me good as well.

Sometimes, I will do wrong thing.
I may said or did something that hurt you.
I may selfish in some way.
I may angry with you without reasonable reasons.
I may said something bad about you.

But all this made me feel myself that I am so Fake!
sometimes, I know you cheat me and I let you cheat.
sometimes, I know you used me and I let you used.
I do nothing on what you have done on me, just let it be.
But why??? At the end you broke your promises, not only for one time.
Just because of the fault that I've made and you leave me.
Just because of the advantage you lost.

Dear friends, when I need you where are you?
You have promised that when I need I can find you.
But when I find you, you are lost,
you feel annoy,
you are busy.
At the end, I do not dare to find and interrupt you again.
And our relationship become far and far.
At the end you forget me,
I may also forget you.

However, I know there are still have true friends with me.
I will appreciate what you do for me.
I may not say thank you to you,
I may not show the sincere face to you,
But in my heart, I will truly grateful of what you did.
Thanks for always be my good listener and advisor when I need you!

Sorry for what I did that make you feel hurt and angry.
Sorry for I did not truly express myself.
Sorry because you not understand me and I am not understand you.

Hope everyday when I wake up will be a good day!
Good luck to all and myself.

Boring Life

on Thursday, March 3, 2011
Haiz~ I don't know what a life that I having now.
Everyday repeat the same thing.
Go work, back home, have lunch, sleep, dinner, watch TV and sleep~
Most are things that not benefit to me at all, sigh~
Although I had learned new things from my training but it still make me feel dull~
Is it will be the same when I come out to work???

I'm starting to worry about my life.
I'm lost now.
Everyday I live in a world that no target, no direction.
What come then just go for it~
No initiation, no target, no motivation, no focus~
I know this will spoil myself and my live,
but I still didn't move and change myself,
what happen to me??? Argh!!!
I want shout!!!

Future make me getting stress,
money is a heavy burden for my whole live.
A live without target is a mess,
A mess can be scheduled with a plan,
But... I no plan at all~@@

I need think clearly and make decision.
I need a peace place.
I need to chuck all the worry~