Emotional Unstable----Again!

I'm losing my strength to express my feeling...
No point for me to express though...
I don't have the energy to voice out my feeling, my thought...
I don't have the reason to explain all...
I just keep silent...
I feel so stress about all of the stuff that happened to me recently...
even though there had some happiness and good memories but it cant suppress my hard feeling...
I found out my soul is fly away
every morning I wake up, there is no goal that I searching for
My life is becoming meaningless...
I still can focus on study but not so
I hope the tiredness, stress and not feeling well that I'm facing is because of my study and the activities that I join.

I keep telling myself,
not my false,
no forcing,
let it be,
trouble come because of my stand no clear
I'm sorry to myself,
I don't even used any knowledge that I've learnt on myself
such a shame!
I just want cry, a way that I feel most comfortable with! Please! Let me CRY out!

( If you leave, please leave with silently or without doing anything, I don't need such thing! You can inform me but don't pretend in front of me! It even make me feel worst. If you hurt, sorry cause I cant do anything for you. Because you not understand me too. Sorry for not being true to myself sometimes. There is some reasons that you should understand. I don't like confront, I don't like explain, I just want you think clear when you make a decision. I know sometimes thinking too much while making decision is not good, but that's my way. It depends on what the decision that I need to make. All just make me feel myself bad...)

Just type out what come in my mind, so it looks messy...